A ton-o-semen is waiting to be shot all over Dane Productions’ awesome teen DVD, Brats Inc. 1.

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Sexy young Courtney starts it off by playing with her tight little toybox of a pussy. Then some guy comes in and puts his cock in her mouth, but the scene’s nearly 2/3 finished before he starts fucking her…with a condom. The sex moves kind of slow, but this busty teen Courtney is so young and hot that she’ll make any man blow multiple loads.

Next up is Tiffany, a petite brunette that has one hell-of-a sweet fucking body. She gets banged on the kitchen counter, and although this scene doesn’t seem like it at first, it’s totally fucking hot because of how totally fucking sexy teen Tiffany is. Scene 2 is HOT, baby!

Then it’s time for serious young pornstar Brittney Skye. She soaps her 32D tits in the bath while playing with her sweet little cunt, then she treats some LUCKY AS FUCK nerdy dude to the fuck session of his life. Brittney Skye does one for all the nerds of the world. Pencil protectors off to you, girl!

And last but for damn sure not least is Desert Rose. She’s young and hot and has a skinny little body that can't be beat. She takes an okay fucking, but like all these other scenes, it isn’t the sex that’s that so hot but how amazingly porn beautiful these teen brats are. I can assure you that you will blow several loads to Brats Inc. 1.

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Today we're reviewing two scenes from All About Ass 3, neither of which left us with such a great feeling.

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Dolly Golden is on first. She’s got a sweet round ass and big fake tits to go along with that aging face of hers. But let me say this: Dolly is one sensual piece of porn booty. She gives an amazing blowjob and slow-fucks a cock to absolute perfection. She’s no stranger to ass-to-mouth, and relishes in it whenever she can. Her scene is beautiful, and she cums twice -- with a dick up her ass. This scene is nothing short of perfection.

Scene 2 on the other hand is the complete contradiction of its predecessor. The lighting and sound are both real shitty, and even if they weren’t, you’d only be getting a more focused look at a shitty scene. Flick Shagwell is usually one of my favorite porn starlets, but she takes on Brandon Iron’s tool in one of the most dull scenes I've seen in awhile. This bitch just lays there and plays dead, and not to lay all the blame on her, Brandon Iron doesn’t seem all that into fucking her either. Even the editing is shitty! At one point, Brandon Iron opens up Flick’s gaping asshole for the camera but the film cuts to another shot before you can even could get a good look! WHAT THE FUCK??

If you’re running low on time then check out scene 1 of All About Ass 3.

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Jim Powers has brought us Babysitter 9, a seminal shooting teen fuckfest that must be jerked off to.

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The first scene stars tight little Asian teen Cheryl Dynasty, and two old, out of shape fucks that get to stick it to her. This bitch is wild in the sack and gets so wet that she can even stick her fingers up her pussy while there’s a cock up there. There’s finger-fucking, anal sex and double penetration, but what was most impressive was how easily dick went up this chick’s ass. She's a ho for sho, and if you doubt it, just pay careful attention to when Cheryl’s taking both of these cocks up her pussy at the same time. Booyah!

Sultry little blond teen, Jessie Jay gets used and abused second by a couple of married swingers who have their way with her. The husband gets his cock sucked while the blond wife fucks Jessie doggy style with a strap-on. And that strap-on earns its fucking keep; Jessie takes the husband's cock doggy style, rides it, takes it up her ass and even gets double penetrated. And even with all this hot shit the dude couldn’t stay hard. You are a worthless fuck, having brought shame to such a magnificent scene the way you did!

Third up is Brandy Starz. She’s kind of weird looking, and her skinny little bod is nice and sweet, but the way she took on two porn dudes left a lot to be desired. The shit’s pretty tame here, and Brandy isn’t much of noise maker, even when she’s taking it in the ass. I didn’t really know what to make of this scene, but it's still load-worthy.

Lastly is sexy/kind-of-crazy Kristina Black. Porn pro Dave Hardman fucks her in a cubicle all kinds of brilliant ways, at one point opening up her tight pussy until it gapes. Now Kristina knows what to sound like when she’s taking cock, her hot voice is enough to make you blow all on its own. Brandy Starz could learn a thing or ten from her.

Babysitter 9 is definitely the shit. It’s hot and highly whackable and worth adding to your private collection.

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We're dealing with Coast to Coast Studios today and their Big Tit Squirt Queens, a flick that’s a combination of 2 great niches that’s oh so hard to fuck up.

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Jessica Jewel and her huge tits are up first to get fucked by Britt Jr. This chick looks like a mom, and sucks and fucks like one too. Her blowjob skills are pitiful, and the dull doggystyle sex at the end borders on sad. The only redeeming thing about this scene is when Jessica Jewel masturbates and squirts into the tub. Other than the squirting, Scene 1 is a waste of goddamn time.

Sexy redhead Sana Fey and her big fake tits go 2^nd. She takes black dick from Byron Long, but not before she squirts from all their hot oral. Byron then proceeds to slay the fuck out of her with his big black dick, then shoves it up her ass for good measure. But making him wear a condom during Ass Time, Sana Fey? I don't really see the logic.

Lastly and most hot-ly is young looking Kiki Daire. Steve Drake is the lucky guy who gets to feel all up on her hot ass, but the scene is more than half over before he even sticks it in her sweet little cunt. She squirts just like the other girls, but when Kiki lets it gush the shit sound like an old leaky faucet. It’s pretty damn funny.

Big Tit Squirt Queens ain’t the best thing we've ever seen, but Sana Fey and Kiki Daire got their shit working full fucking throttle.

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Again with Acid FUCKING Rain. We viewed your porn movie, My Ass is Trippin’, and we've got a few qualms with you and it.

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Black girl Kelly Star sets it off by sucking off two white dicks, one of which belongs to that fat motherfucker Rod Fontana. There’s some finger-fucking, some anal sex, and then the double penetration (DP). But what’s most memorable about scene 1 is Kelly’s pussy piercings – of which there are 3 – and when she literally makes her asshole wink at her anal assailants.

2^nd is the light-skinned and sexy Courtney Devine. Lee Stone comes in and delivers a stellar performance like he always does, making Ms. Devine squeal like a whore. He gives her some damn fine rough sex that Courtney couldn’t get enough of. Multiple loads fired to scene 2.

Skinny black girl, Diamond Rene gets thrown right into Finger Fuck City by Tyce Bune and Chris Mountain. They treat this little black chick like fucking dirt, drilling the living shit out of her. I would have enjoyed scene 3 much more if this bitch had trimmed that massive bush of hers. Take care of that shit next time, “Diamond”!

4^th is this moderately attractive black chick who takes on Rod and Scott Lyons. It looks like she gets a decent drilling, but this mute bitch makes more noise when Rod sucks on her toes than when she’s taking his short fat dick, or Scott’s long skinny one. Whether it's in her pussy or asshole; neither hole being penetrated seems to do much for her. Get out of the business if you don't like fucking!

Last is busty black girl, Lola Lane. She and her 38 F tits are spilling all over the fucking place, but she’s filled with tons of angry spunk. She takes Brian Surewood any way he gives it to her, but be sure to catch the reverse cowgirl anal… Brian’s wood doesn’t look to be as sure as it should be.

My Ass is Trippin’ won't be winning any AVN awards, but Courtney Devine’s scene is fucking solid, and for all you guys out there who like to see black girls riding white dick, this movie is for you.

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We loves those golden blonde haired honeys, and Blue Jean Blondes 4 is overflowing with ‘em.

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After a painfully long and pointless interview, Jana Oujeska and Natasha suck on each others tanned titties. These two blondes are FUCKING hot, and the way they take their time eating each other out to the point of climax is poetry in motion. But the goddamn soundtrack drowns the girls out at times. I'd rather hear wet pussy slurping than some crappy Muzak.

Next is a petite blonde with no tits who takes Nick Manning’s cock. This girl is a white trash whore, but I love white trash whores, and although scene 2 is at times dull as dishwater, there’s just something about the way this slut takes a fucking. Much to my surprise, I still fired 2 loads to this scene.

Scene 3 is all fucking good. Dayton’s back on the scene with a new set of fake tits, and after another stupid interview, Jasmine eats her out on staircase. There’s something especially sweet about two blonde teens dyking out together. They break out the strap-on and Jasmine sucks Dayton’s “dick” then bends over to take it doggystyle. Dayton reaches around to play with her clit until they both have glorious orgasms. Perfection.

Blue Jean Blondes 4 doesn’t seem like it will be all that memorable, but it motherfuckin’ is. Hot young blondes are the shit, and these four girls were worth 7 loads.

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The dictionary defines the word professional as “a person who is expert at his or her work”. I define the phrase fucking bitch-ass amateur trick as “that stupid half-ass cunt Zack Miles”.

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Now you already know that Filthy DVD Reviews is run by professionals – and we are tireless. But what you may not know is how much of a dumb motherfucker Zack Miles is. We “viewed” his porn DVD Cream of The Crop 5 today, and let me tell you: somebody needs to put a fuckin’ bullet in this sorry douche-bag's head.

Never before have we seen such disgustingly sad pornography. This piece of shit hillbilly fuck is in every one of the 3 scenes.

First he fucks Kandis Kelly, a redhead whom he describes as hot. Then you get a look at the bitch and she’s an old flat-chested mature hag with no tits to speak of. She’s all fat and shit, and the sex featured in scene 1 is sadder than an AIDS wing of a children’s hospital.

A decent looking thick blond with big tits named Joy Klein gets the business from Zack next. This scene is even worse than the first one, and at one point, the other dude in the scene is just there playing with his flaccid white dick. This is total fucking bullshit.

The final “scene” of this “film” features the director/star dickhead again. Here he fucks a black girl named Cici Love. It’s totally half-ass.

EVERYTHING IN Cream of The Crop 5 IS FUCKING SHIT, from the girls to the fucking to the lighting and especially the goddamn shitty camera work. Zack Miles you stupid piece of shit, WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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We're getting our Legend Video on today with Role Models 2, a deceptively stellar title that brings some serious fucking.

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Dillon Day and sexy English bird, Hannah Harper start shit off. Hannah plays with her perfect tits while Dillon eats her out then finger bangs the fuck out of her. Then they go straight to the anal sex, forcing The WhackMan to cry out “WHY?!?!” Hannah has one sweet and tight little pussy, and why Dillon didn’t hit that first is beyond me. But they eventually get around to it with some seriously severe and fierce fucking that’s sure to coax the cum outta ya.

Next up is Nikko Night taking it to some sweet, sophisticated looking porn chick. This angel sucks cock while running a vibrator over her own pussy, then when she takes the cock you get a good look at crazy fuck Nikko’s pierced ballsack. You are one bad motherfucker, Nikko. They proceed to fuck pretty badass here, these two definitely knowing what they’re doing.

Batting 3^rd is porn pro Joel Lawrence. He slays pornstar Layla Jade so thoroughly that she never once stops moaning. Joel stabs her teen pussy in the back of an SUV until he blows a massive load that lands all over her sticky pussy. That's the way it should be done!

And finishing up strong in scene 4 is once again Hannah Harper. She gets her lesbian lick on with petite pornstar Keegan Skky, and Nikko Night is there to facilitate things. They both suck on his skinny cock, then take turns getting fucked by it. Near the end it's beautiful: the girls are laying on top of one another playing with each others pussies while Nikko alternates between their two pretty pussies, showing them both an equal amount of love.

Role Models 2 is for fucking sure one you ought to look up to. 8 loads fired to it.

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Rain Productions is throwing Flirts 5 at us today, an uneven porn movie that has its moments of pure genius.

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MILF-looking Jordan Haze and her big fake tits get fucked first. After a interview that goes way too fucking long, Ted Hunter comes in and eats her ass out. Jordan sucks him a little then goes straight into some reverse cowgirl. She rides dick like she’s been doing it all her life, but making her dude wear a condom lost all credibility with us. What the fuck is that matter with you, Jordan?!?!?!

Next up is a pair of hot blonde lesbians. T.J. has an enormous set of fake boobs, and she and Brittany Skye light scene 2 on fire. Their shit is hot. I blew 3 loads to them alone, but near the end there’s all these shitty dissolves and overlapping shots which detract from the pussy eating lickfest. The camera tricks look like amateur hour and have no business being in the scene.

Last but sure as not least is Brit slut Ashley Long who gets fucked good by Nick Manning. I love accents almost as much as I love a skinny blonde's tight pussy, and this kick-ass scene features both. Nick bends this slut all over the fucking place, drilling her good and hard, and at the end he drops a load of sperm right in her eye. Magnifico!

Although there are some production value issues with Flirts 5, the ass it features more than makes up for it. There’s good shit here. Seven loads fired to these 3 scenes.

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Acid Rain has delivered Oh That’s Tight, a short 3-scener that packs one hell-of-a motherfuckin’ punch.

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Blonde pornstar Alana Evans goes first. She gets her ass munched by the venerable Benjamin Brat, then she deep-throats his cock and licks his ass and chode. Ben then proceeds to stuff 3 fingers up her ass, followed by his dick, at the end giving her an anal orgasm.

2^nd is the Queen of Squirt herself, Cytheria. Aging porno stud, Alex Sanders gives her a solid all around dicking, making her spray her liquid a miraculous 7 times. Cytherea is pornography personified, and this scene is so fucking hot that we were forced to take the rest of the afternoon off.

We clocked back in around 9 in the evening and finished up Oh That’s Tight with Ted Hunter and this cute little porno slut named Jessie. She reminded me of a girl I used to bang in junior high, so I had a special affinity for this one. The fucking is decent, but I found myself reminiscing while I blew my loads. But what I have no patience for is sub-par production. Cellphones, power saws, and hammering can all be heard during this scene. What the fuck kinda bullshit is that?!?!

Oh That’s Tight does it fucking right as rain. I fired 7 loads to it, mostly ‘cause of that beautiful squirting bitch Cytherea. You are the shit, girl.

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